How Identity Foreclosure Shapes Our Beliefs and Achievements
Key takeaways:
Identity foreclosure can limit mindset and achievement
Belief systems are often inherited and passed down
We tend to define ourselves by what we do
Anchoring identities to our actions can have consequences
Transcript:
Speaker 1
Yeah, it's a great question. I think a lot of it is based on what we see around us and what we see is deemed successful and society privileges. And there's a concept called identity foreclosure. We're actually, when you're young, right, it's not just that you're observing what your parents are doing or what your peer group is doing. They impose their own structures on you. And so what that can do is it can really limit your mindset in terms of what it is that you want to achieve and what it is that you're capable of achieving. And so oftentimes when people experience identity foreclosure, they have to take a lot of active steps to overcome whatever biases or limitations they experienced as a young person. Given what they were projected to do or believe, right? So identity, you know, it can be about what you do and also be about what you believe in the world, right? And so a lot of those belief systems are also passed down. You inherit belief systems from the people that surround you when you're young. And if there's one thing that I've learned, it's that we tend to put a huge premium on what it is that we do. We tend to define ourselves by what we do. And you can see this in the questions we ask young children, what do you want to be when you grow up, right? We never say, who do you want to be when you grow up? What kind of person do you want to be when you grow up? We say, what do you want to be? And the consequence of that kind of mindset is that we end up anchoring our identities very firmly to what it is that we do. And I certainly, you know, you were alluding to my personal story, right? I started playing the violin when I was a little kid, six years old, became absolutely obsessed. And for the large part of my childhood, I was first and foremost a violinist. (Time 0:06:10)
Note: Identity foreclosure - identity/beliefs projected onto us by our parents or others
Losing Identity and Finding a Path Forward
Key takeaways:
Losing a significant part of one's identity can be disorienting and destabilizing.
The loss of a defining aspect can lead to questioning one's value and purpose.
Identity paralysis, where one's sense of self is called into question, can occur during life transitions.
Feeling stuck and lacking courage to imagine a future can accompany identity paralysis.
Defining oneself based on experiences and values rather than external factors is important.
The desire for humans to have identities is a fundamental aspect of being human.
Transcript:
Speaker 1
Because what I hadn't realized is that in losing the violin, sure, I was losing the ability to play the instrument, but I was actually losing a huge part of who I was. And that was so destabilizing and so disorienting for me because when you define yourself by the what, then as soon as the what goes away, you're like, Oh, my gosh, who the hell am I? Right? What do I do? What value do I bring to the world? And what I experienced at the time is known in cognitive science as identity paralysis. Maybe you felt this way during various transitions in your life, but basically who you are and what you're about is suddenly called into question. And you end up feeling really stuck, right? You don't see you don't have the courage to imagine what a future could look like. And I certainly felt prey to identity paralysis and it took me a long time to kind of figure out what my path would look like moving forward. But I learned a really valuable lesson from that very formative experience I had the change about how it is that I should define myself. And for what it's worth, I don't think our desire as humans to have identities is going anywhere. (Time 0:08:22)
The Importance of Identity and Finding Meaning in Actions
Key takeaways:
Our desire for identities as humans is important for meaning and purpose in our lives.
We should anchor our identities to why we do things, not what we do.
The emotional connection through music was the true source of joy in playing the violin.
Inspiring new feelings in others is a powerful and intoxicating experience.
Transcript:
Speaker 1
And for what it's worth, I don't think our desire as humans to have identities is going anywhere. We're not going to be able to dispose of identities and we shouldn't because our self identities bring us so much meaning and purpose in our lives, right? You're a podcaster. I'm a podcaster. You're a scientist. I'm a scientist. These things are actually really helpful and motivating. So we don't want to do away with identities altogether. But what we can be more particular about is what we anchor our identities to. And I have learned in my adult life to anchor my identity to why I do the things I do rather than what I do. And I found this to be a much more durable, reliable relationship. So to make this concrete, let's think about the violin, right? Sure, I loved playing. I loved how music sounded. I loved the way the violin felt. But when I stripped away all the superficial features of the violin, what I really, really loved and was so drawn to as a young child was the emotional connection that I could form through my music. So that might have been with my orchestra mates, my chamber musician friends playing solo and performing in front of an audience. And ideally, we all feel something new that we haven't felt before. I mean, it's kind of an intoxicating feeling when you're little to have the ability to inspire new feelings in people, right? (Time 0:09:24)
